Learning to Trust

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As the summer approaches I’ve found myself more and more frustrated and a little scared, actually.

I hear my friends planning their internships in whatever field they are entering. Most of them have amazing opportunities ahead of them this summer. Opportunities that are going to give them a leg up when it comes time to graduate and find jobs next year. Many of them are leaving Minneapolis and heading all over the country and even the world. For awhile I was very ok with not having an internship this summer. It’s my last summer when I won’t have to work and I can just be a little more free. But then I think about all the experience that I am not gaining this summer and I freak out a little. I think about how the internships I applied to did not think I was a good fit and then I start to doubt my fit in the nursing profession. I start to question how prepared I will be when I graduate. And then I think, if the internships didn’t want me, what if the actual employers don’t either? Basically, I started to over think it all and I stopped trusting God’s plan.

So then I thought, let’s beef up my resume a bit. So I applied to be on the college board of my nursing school and got another resounding no. Maybe I’m trying too hard for the wrong things. I thought that I wanted the experience of planning events for my school and helping my classmates’ voices be heard, but when I got the email saying no, all I thought about was how that’s another thing I can’t put on my resume.  And maybe that’s why I got turned down. Maybe my heart just wasn’t in the right place. Maybe I need to stop trying so hard to figure it all out on my own.

I’m trying to learn to trust God. I’m trying to learn to listen to God. But it’s hard. I’m terrible at turning off my inner monologue so Christ can speak to me. But really, I am looking forward to summer, even if I am a little scared, if only so that I don’t have anymore required readings and papers to deal with. Christ does have a great plan for me. I just don’t know what, yet.

Peace and blessings

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Der Spring is Sprung

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Spring is one of my favorite times of year! I love the smell of the neighbor’s lilac bushes and the feel of the sun and the wind on my skin. I love the grass turning green. I love warm spring rain and the puddles it leaves behind.  I love the animals out running around again. I love the rebirth of nature that fits so well with the timing of Easter and the celebration of the rebirth of mankind. As I was out walking earlier, I found myself unable to stop smiling. I hope wherever you all are you are getting to experience the joys of spring and many blessings from God.

Peace and Blessings!

END7

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So now that lent is over, I’m back on all of the social media sites. One that I am particularly fond of is pinterest and today I stumbled upon someone’s pin that led me to find out about a wonderful cause that I want to share with you all. This organization is called END7 (as you might have been able to guess by the title). Here is a video explaining what they do.

As a nursing student, this is the kind of charitable organization that speaks to me. If you can, please consider donating a little. Or buy one of these shirts and the proceeds this week will go END7.

Peace and blessings!

It’s official!

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I’m Catholic!

My confirmation and first communion were wonderful! I had ached to take part in the Eucharist for months now and I finally got to. I was so excited! I was actually shaking while I was up front for confirmation.  My leg was going a mile a minute and I was afraid that it might give out on me, luckily it didn’t. I was also nervous that I would somehow look silly and the seminarian who helps Father Mark told us before mass, “when in doubt look devout.”  So that’s what I went for and I ended up not smiling much. It just resulted in me looking annoyed, rather than devout, in some of the pictures, but I promise I was excited.

Not quite the devout look I was going for...

Thanks for all the prayer and support you all have shown during my journey to the Catholic Church. It has meant a lot to me. This will definitely be a memorable Easter for the rest of my life and adds a whole other dimension to the significance of this day. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate Christ’s Resurrection than to become a full member of His body and the Church He founded.

Laying on of hands

My big bro came to support me

Now that I am officially in the Church, I have changed the name of the blog. I guess I’m no longer ”returning” to Rome. I’ve arrived. So now I have named it after my patron saint.

Father Mark and me after the mass

Happy Easter everyone! Christ is risen!

When hopes are dashed

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I wanted the summer internship at St. Jude so bad that the suspense was brutal. In my head I had already been accepted to the program and I was imagining what my summer would look like. I’ll admit that I already looked into the housing resources the St. Jude website provided and had looked into Catholic Churches in the area.  I was so excited to move to Memphis!

Then I found out that I didn’t get it. Suddenly my imagined summer was gone in a puff of smoke. I cried. I got a little upset with the Man upstairs ever so briefly for dashing my hopes. But then I tried to find some lessons in this that He is trying to show me. Here are a couple.

1. Last week at Adoration, Christ told me that I need to stop living in times other than the present, and especially to avoid the future. Now I know why. It’s harder to deal with a change in plans when you spent the last  2 weeks thinking as if they were already set in stone. Living in the future will only make it less enjoyable when you get there and it isn’t how you daydreamed it to be.

2. He says to me, “Trust Me! I’ve got a plan for you. I need you here this summer!” Now my task is to figure out why I need to be here and to truly trust that it will all work out exactly how He wants it to and for my own good.

I guess I’m just frustrated that all the internships I applied for turned me down, but it will be ok in the end. God has a plan and I will figure it out. Eventually.

Peace and blessings!

First Confession

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I went to my first confession today so that I thought I’d re-blog a post I did way back in October on that topic. It all rings so true now that I’ve experienced it. I feel completely freed from the sins I confessed because I finally voiced them out loud to another person. And of course, most importantly, because I heard Christ himself forgive me through the words of the priest. Oh what I missed out on for the past 21 years of my life. 5 mores days! Hallelujah!

The Heart of St. Gianna

“Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, so I also send you.’ After saying this, He breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; If you retain the sins of any, they are retained.'” John 20:21-23

Today in RCIA, we talked about confession. As a Protestant, this was one of the doctrines I had a major issue with. How dare a priest think that he had any right to forgive my sins! That is for God alone to decide! But from the verse above it is clear that Christ Himself gave other people the power to do that exact thing. He gave those 12 men the right to forgive and retain the sins of Jesus’ followers.

Many Protestants would argue that He was only talking to the 12 apostles that He…

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