Today’s society makes it hard at times to remain strong in our convictions to maintain our purity. We are surrounded by sexualized advertisements, movies riddled with- sometimes very graphic- sex scenes, and peers telling us that it’s just sex, lighten up a little. Society tells us with all it’s propaganda that sex is just sex. Its only purpose is for our enjoyment. “Hey it’s fun! Everyone’s doing it. Stop being such a prude!” But I have to say no to that message. Its not just sex. It’s not just for enjoyment purposes. My beliefs about sex and waiting until marriage are sometimes ignored by those around me because I believe that’s how God intended it to be. They hear the word God and shut down. They have no use for my silly religious ideals. They think I’m just stuck in a time long past where everyone was uptight and women were just considered baby making machines by the religious male leaders. But I have reasons aside from “God says so.” And here are just 3 of them for now:
1. No matter what you believe about how we all came to exist (God created us verses it’s all a happy accident, and everything in between), the main purpose of sex is reproduction. The healthiest environment for a child to grow is with 2 parents in a loving, stable marriage. Many couples have intentionally taken this purpose away with contraception, (a post for another time) but sex always comes with the chance of a pregnancy and so, in my humble opinion, it should wait until marriage.
2. The other purpose of sex is to create a bond between the man and the woman that helps them remain committed to each other. This is a bond created by the chemical oxytocin that is released during the act. Oxytocin creates a very strong emotional bond between the 2 individuals (it’s the same chemical that is released while a woman is breastfeeding to promote a bond between baby and mother). This bond is not broken just because the couple decides to end things and it becomes progressively harder for either party to truly commit to another as they create these bonds with, potentially, multiple people in their lifetime.
3. This one is more personal to me. There is a chance that as I look for my future spouse I will end up sharing my heart and soul with more than one guy. I may share my deepest fears and dreams with multiple young men. But by waiting until I’m married to have sex, I have preserved one thing that only my husband will get. I will be able to say to him that he is the only one I have truly given all of myself to. He won’t have to wonder how many men I’ve been with before him and I hope to find someone about whom I won’t have to wonder either. He won’t have to worry that I’m comparing his “talent,” so to speak, with my ex. We will have something between us that is just ours, never shared with anyone else before. And I think that’s pretty darn cool.
Maybe my view on sex is a little prudish for this sexually revolutionized society. But if wanting to wait and believing it’s the healthiest choice for everyone makes me a prude, well then call me a prude, old-fashioned, uptight and I’ll be proud of it!