For years I struggled with my perpetual singleness. Society, and to a small extent the Protestant church, covertly put pressure on me to be with someone. I was surrounded by movies and television shows that flaunted relationships in my face. In high school, I saw people barely older than myself and even a few of my classmates getting married! I felt like being single meant that something must be wrong with me. I tried convincing myself this was not the case, but my constant unrequited crushes were much more convincing than I was.
But I have finally come to the conclusion that it’s ok to be single. Since deciding to join the Catholic Church I have seen that being single doesn’t make you a mutant or misfit. There are vocations (not sure if that’s the actual word I want) in the Church in which you are required to be single. It can be a blessing, a way for God’s grace to shine. Maybe God has plans for me that will be easier for me to carry out without someone else in the picture whose opinion will matter to me.
For now, I think it is time for me to be single and finally be fully comfortable with that. I’m going to let God show me what He can do with it and where He can take me. I don’t need to be in a relationship to experience love or to give my own love to others. I need to take the time to adjust to the unfamiliarity I still sometimes experience within the Catholic Church and focus on my relationship with Christ. None of this is to say that I will forever remain single. That also may not be God’s plan for me. But if it is His plan, I will embrace it joyfully. I just need to be open to whatever God throws at me and accept it, even if it seems strange to society and I get weird looks.