On Monday, my mom will be having heart surgery to have at least 2 valves replaced, and possibly a bypass. This is a scary thing to have come up in the course of one week. It’s hard to believe that a little over a week ago, we had no idea that there was even anything wrong with her heart.
This trial in my family’s life has showed me some things about the heart, some that I already knew but took for granted, and some that are a little more metaphorical. 1) As a nursing student, I already knew that the heart was a vital organ (most people know this) and that there a lot of things that can go wrong with it. But until I experienced someone I know going through it, I didn’t really understand the implications of these kinds of problems. It’s scary to know that on Monday morning at 7:30 am, the surgeons are going to stop my mother’s heart so that they can repair it and then restart it again. It’s scary to know that there are a lot of risks that go with this. When you learn about it in class, it’s obvious that it’s serious, but until you or a loved one experiences it, you can’t fully understand the anxiety and fear that comes with it. I do think that this experience, however, will help me be a better nurse someday. I will be able to understand a little better what the loved ones of the patient with heart problems are going through. The nervousness I feel about all this leads me to the second thing I’m learning from all of this.
A little background is needed to fully understand this one. This summer I “unofficially dated” a great guy, who was very supportive with my mother’s other illness (chronic kidney failure) and was there for me when I was stressed about family drama which is all too common in my family at times. At the end of the summer, we called it off. God was telling us that it was not the right time for us to date. Now that all this new stuff is happening, I really miss being able to just text or call him and let him comfort or encourage me. All I want is to be able to ask him to come with me to the hospital on Monday and hold me hand while we wait for my mom’s surgery to be finished (though it’s a school day so I wouldn’t have expected him to actually go, but it would be nice to have the option of asking). But I can’t do that. We are not a couple and I have no reason to turn to him anymore. When I think about that fact too much, my heart breaks a little. But I think God is trying to remind me to depend on Him and not on this guy, that for a brief time I depended on for comfort. Even if this guy can not be there to support me, I always have God, and He has provided me with amazing friends who are there to support and take care of me and hug me during this trying time. God will heal my aching heart and I pray that He will heal my mother’s literally broken one as well. That being said, I ask that anyone who reads this will pray for my mom during her surgery and will pray that she has come to know Jesus as her savior and will be willing to transform her life to His will. Pray that she will finally come to accept the Catholic faith.